noonereadstheurl: I honestly can’t blame David Karp for wanting to sell this website You can only be called “daddy” by white middle-class teenaged girls so many times before something just snaps
mowwwg: “you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!” the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
sulihpoeht: teamkanyedaily: Kanye West - NEW SLAVES (SNL Performance) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also, fuck the bitch trying to get all over my man. what the fuck kind of pick-up line is “i feel like you’re from northern ireland. i’m irish, so i can tell” no no, hunty. NO
I am a potato. A potato is I.
last night i was told that apparently it’s somewhat of a miracle for someone such as myself to be with someone such as jon. the tone of voice used implied that he seemed to have settled for me because maybe i’m “smart” or “really funny” or “hey, she must really have a great personality”, but not once did their tone imply that maybe he liked me...
The List Lady Strikes
I’m looking through my phone and apparently i made a list last night in my sleepy haze. it reads: Things to buy 5/15/13: -condoms -one-time camera -beef jerky priorities, man
meowbella: IF U WANNA BE MY LOVER U GOTTA at least text me sometimes damn
seriously, though. these siblings are just too...
unironicgoth: my favorite eye color is your eye color and my favorite height is your height and my favorite weight is your weight my favorite hands are your hands my favorite knees are your knees
JESSE EISENBERG: People on the street say mean things to me.
INTERVIEWER: Like what?
JESSE EISENBERG: I get called Napoleon Dynamite because I have curly hair. I live in New York City and I ride a bicycle. I always bike down 9th Avenue and there’s this kid who goes to school there named Abraham. Every time I pass him, he calls me Napoleon Dynamite. He screams it out and his friends laugh. That was a fine movie but I wasn’t in it.
INTERVIEWER: What do you say back?
JESSE EISENBERG: I say, “Please Abraham, I’m not that man.”
i think i’m going to go back to my pixie cut.
Genitalia appreciation post.
[[MORE]]I don’t think I’ve ever thought this about any guy because I usually think their junk looks gross, but Jon has a very pretty penis. he has a very pretty everything. hung as a mother fucker too. not to turn this into some x-rated shit, but a few thrusts and i’m putty. okay, thank you for listening.
drdavidbrinner: drdavidbrinner: Today in gym class we were doing major climbing and halfway up this girl freezes and goes “I CAN’T DO IT I CAN’T DO IT” so some dude yells “MY AUNT SAID DAT AT HER WEDDIN’ BUT SHE MARRIED DAT FINE-ASS DOCTOR AND NOW SHE RICH AS HELL” the girl did it. truly inspiring. I should add that it was a shrimpy 5’1 Indian boy nobody had ever heard talk before who was...
Because Tesla ROX and Edion SUX →
i know how to put on a condom using only my mouth. madi has to do it for her play and one night i was helping her with lines and was like “how?” and she pulled out a magnum rubber and next thing you know *SNIP SNAP SNAZZLE* i learned how to put on a condom using only my mouth.
once i dedicate myself to someone for a period of time i almost forget how to interact with others it’s really quite the dilemma
i have a friend whom i’m only friends with during that class. i was telling her about the kid i got stuck in the elevator with and how we’ve basically become bff’s. she then went on to say that he was flirting with me, but i said that nothing would come out of it because i was already seeing someone else. this young lady had the nerve to question the legitimacy of my...
doing acid was the best/worse idea ever
i really wish people would read the great gatsby before going to see the movie. c’mon, people. C’MON.
theanti90smovement: uh don’t call philosophical ideas “”“trippy”“” you sound like a fucking asshole
coochiejuice: “whip cream on that pu**y” lil wayne tryna fuck around and have your pH balance off beware
My Angus Please Stay Ugh. Karen O, why do you do this to me each and every time I listen to your beautiful mermaid voice?
sometimes i get on facebook and become ashamed to have associated with the people i associated with back at home. worse, i’m ashamed that these sorts of people are breathing and reproducing/have reproduced.
Today we had Semiotics outside considering that it was just TOO beautiful to not have class in the sun. It’s hilarious how everyone in my class decides to be friends with only two weeks left. BOO. The reason this is relevant is because once class was dismissed I was going to originally hang with this guy from my class and further our friendship. Instead, I accompanied Joss on her way to...
[[MORE]]i have never been so happy to see blood in my toilet. i think it’s time i stop being so careless because three scares is more than i need in my lifetime. imma write an essay on this matter